I am going to start this blog by being completely honest:
For most of my life, I’ve always seen myself as that “boss chick” who always had everything under control. When I say control, I mean bills were paid, work was good, relationships with family and friends were solid and I had my short-term and long-term plans intact and moving towards them. Fashion on fleek, squats on a regular, the cheerleader to most and an entertainer at heart; must be the Sagittarian in me.
But somewhere in the midst of it all, I experienced what felt like a modern mid-life crisis. I guess I was a tad naïve to think that a man in his 60s purchasing a red sports car with tight leather pants or a woman who sells everything and runs off on her eat pray love journey is a crisis. You know the stuff we read about for women and men in their golden age, not a prime, 30’s professional, like me. Well, while some of you may relate, a “crisis” can happen at any stage in your life and I’m convinced the new modern mid-life crisis kicks in when necessary.
The signs of my “crisis” were feeling a sense of emptiness, unfulfillment, lack of motivation and questioning if this was all life had to offer me until I was 100 years old. “What is my purpose?” was the one question that kept nagging me at night. And though I think we have all asked ourselves this question at some point or another, the real test of whether you can overcome this feeling of “confusion” and make the changes needed, lies your mindset.
For example, do you talk to yourself? If not, please start! There is something so special about hearing yourself aloud when you give yourself a much needed pep talk. Sometimes you just got to tell yourself that you are badass, beautiful and worthy.
I had to change my mindset from “oh why me?”, or “what’s going on?” to a place of gratitude.
I know we hear it often, “be grateful!”. But what I’m suggesting is tapping into and really stepping into an unwavering place of gratitude.
Okay, so your recent relationship didn’t work out, and that friendship you thought was going ‘til the end, suddenly crumbled sooner than you thought or you are still on the hunt for that dream job. As hurtful as it can all be, I am telling you, be grateful in understanding that these lessons are preparing you for something else. Something bigger. Something better! Something SPECTACULAR!
Try as much as you can to avoid that space of questioning and being closed off from your truths; that’s the problem.
It’s all too easy to feel hopeless, sing the ‘poor me’ mantra and expect change to happen all by itself. I get it, we all need a moment, or two, to sulk a little. So, you have two days maximum to sit in your living room, watch TV and think the world is about to end. TWO days only! Once your pity party is over, I implore you to delve on the brighter side with a heart of gratitude and that, my friends, is when the magic starts happening.
You will notice that disappointments, heartbreaks, and even job refusals can be a clear sign that something is changing for the better. Believe me, trust the process and start appreciating the small things. Once you do, gratitude will eventually be your new language and it will no longer be “why me?”, but “what is this teaching me?”